Preface
Piers (Yennies husband)
Yennie and I always wanted kids, ever since we were young we both just wanted to start a family. I guess that’s why we clicked when we first met. We met when I was working in a Kindergarten and I had to teach classes on a Sunday. She came to help and I could see her kindness toward the children. We clicked and even then I could see we made a good team, I was more strict, she was more gentle but more than anything we reacted to compliment each other’s style and demeanor. Where one of us was strict then the other would follow up and talk to the child quietly. That really is the foundation of how we go about raising our children.
Once we were married we returned to England so I could train to be a teacher and at that time we lived with my Mother and Father. My Mother has been a profound influence on our approach to raising children. She has dedicated her life to taking care of children of all ages, from running children’s homes to fostering children with learning disabilities and raising five children of her own along the way. Whilst we lived in England we were able to draw on her limitless experience and without her this book may never have happened.
Many people doubted us, we were told we were too young more than once, but she believed in us. She encouraged, sometimes gently and sometimes with tough love. She was what we needed when we needed it. I think, looking back now, the most important thing she taught us was to listen, to each other and to our children, and when you read the articles in this book I hope that that is the overriding message that you get from us. Listen to your children and guide them.
The problem with writing a book like this is that people think that you have all the answers (or that you are saying that you have all the answers), of course we don’t. Sometimes we give advice but it is always with the caveat that we speak from our personal experience but that yours may be different. I like to call the articles in this book ‘sharing’. I don’t see it as us giving advice, I see it as us sharing our thoughts and experiences and we hope that you can gain some ideas from the things we share. Everyone has their faults, no-body is perfect and we are only part of the way through our parenting journey. Our children are still young and we have many exciting adventures to go through in the next few years and possibly decades. I for one can’t wait because they teach me far more than I teach them and every day I try to embrace the learning opportunities that my children give me.
So this forward has rambled on long enough but I want to leave you with one last thought. Don’t doubt yourself, you are all the parent your children will ever need and you are doing an amazing job. Read these articles and glean what you can from them and then get out there and talk to other parents, share your experiences too. Always be prepared to learn from others and share what works for you, there are many people out there who think they know best but ultimately at the end of the day when you close your front door it is just you and your children that matter, no one else. That should be your motivation, cultivate your relationship with your children and confront problems that you face together.
Yennie Darkins 自序
終於出書了！這本書算是悼念我yahoo blog的遺作 - 把最好的，都留在這書。
我廿一歲當媽媽，我曾被看低，說我太年輕當媽媽，做不了好媽媽。由早早就被人標籤，到現在大家都在Facebook一起見證我家三位天使的成長、得到大家認同...路，並不易走，我也曾迷失過，花了好一段日子才能把自己重新定位。
記得剛為人母時，雖然興奮，但也覺得無助非常，經常覺得自己被困家中！要整整一年的時間才習慣全職媽媽的生活，找到全職媽媽的「樂」。
「好想出?做野，唔想同社會脫節！」這是大部份全職媽媽的心聲。然而，我並非那大部份。我並不相信當全職媽媽會令人跟社會脫節。自當全職媽媽以來，我就不斷裝備自己 - 我學會做蛋糕、面部彩繪及多樣手作，亦不斷找尋兼職，目的就是要為將來再戰職場而鋪路。要找尋找一份工而不影響我平日照顧孩子，寫專欄是我的頭號目標。慶幸我找到了自己理想的工作，既可在家照顧孩子，又覺得自己能有些作為。
自大女兒出生開始，我就一手一腳照顧她們三個。看似是很難的工作，但只要找到適合自己的生活方式，其實並不是難事，外國也非常普遍。希望藉此書，可跟大家分享一些育兒方法。
眼見香港的父母盲目地催谷孩子，要他們成績優異、多才多藝，卻忘記了最根本、最必需學的自理、人生態度及個人修養的問題，不得不感慨。孩子上學學的除了是知識，最重要的是學習態度和做人的道理。就算孩子學習路上遇到困難，但學習態度良好，就會積極找出進步的方法，抗逆力亦較高。
讓孩子，當孩子，令他們享受童年。這也是我和丈夫一路以來的信念。希望各家長都不會把教育孩子成果的焦點落在數字上，全人教育才是大道理。
最後，要多謝奶奶一路以來的支持。她就如我們的啟蒙老師，我們的育兒方式，都是被一湊六的她深深影響！在我身在異鄉、無家人和朋友在身邊的日子，她是我的最大依靠。不論在教養孩子，還是夫妻相處，她都經常跟我分享道理。她常說：「每天都是上學天。」(Every day is a lesson.)每日跟孩子、丈夫相處，你也會從他們身上學習多一點、認識他們多一點。
不錯，每天都是上學天，教養孩子的路很長！大家一起努力吧！
共勉之！
Yennie
